Thursday, August 19, 2004

Movies I Don't Want To See 

I've seen lots of trailers lately, and responded to some with "oh, cool," some "eh," and some "no way." These are some that I have no desire to see.

Open Water - Vacationing couple is accidentally left in the water when their scuba diving group miscounts patrons and heads back to shore. They are promo-ing this as based on a true story, but it's more like inspired by real events. Most of it takes place after the couple surfaces, and most of it is speculation. This just looks like an incredibly stressful case of cinematic schaudenfreude, and I don't think I've yet become that desperate in my entertainment requirements.

Cellular - Kim Basinger is kidnapped and she and her son will suffer terrible harm if she doesn't tell the kidnapper what he wants to know. She claims to have no idea what he's talking about. There's a phone in the room, but it's been smashed. She manages to touch the correct wires together and a random call goes out, landing on the cell phone of our hero. She's desperate for his help, and he commits. The catch? They can't lose the call, since she has no way of calling again, and apparently the phone won't receive a call, or the ring will alert the kidnapper, or something. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure why he doesn't go to the police. William H. Macy is the cop in the movie. He seems nice. I'm sure he'd help. But our hero goes it alone. Go hero, go! Steal a car, take a gun, hold the cellular phone store at gunpoint until they give you a charger! Whatever.

Alien v. Predator - Eh. I liked the Alien movies, but Predator didn't do it for me. Sigourney Weaver's not in this, so really what's the point?

Wicker Park - Josh Hartnett is in lurve. We think she lurves him, too. But then she vanishes. Then some psycho chick shows up and pulls a Single White Female. But Josh won't give up - true love will win!!!!! Hopefully true love will make him a better actor, but I don't feel like shelling out the $9.50 to find out.

Posted by Beth Henderson at 9:36 AM