Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Theft & Vandalism: Political Statements? 

Reuters reports that as we are approaching Election Day, incidents of political sign theft and vandalism are on the rise against supporters of both campaigns, and both sides are characterizing this as being a worse than usual year. Many people have expressed anger about the problem, but apparently at least one political scientist thinks it's a positive indication of political involvement:
"People really care about this election and this is one way to show it," said Richard Valelly, a research fellow at the Center for the Study of Democratic Politics at Princeton University. "It's American politics."

So get out there and show that you care. Follow the example of some of the activist demonstrations featured in the article: steal, swap, spray paint, chop down, urinate on or burn down signs for the opposition's political opponent. Leave your hatchet embedded in the sign when you run away, as one person did. Since you're there committing vandalism, might as well make a big statement, and burn a swastika into the lawn of a Bush supporter. Yes, all these actions occurred. Because that's how politics works in America.

Why bother educating yourself on the issues so you can engage in intelligent debate with your neighbors, when you can make your point by sneaking into their yard under cover of darkness and either steal or vandalize their manifestations of free speech and political involvement. Just think of the election as like a sports event. Any team that isn't your team sucks, and anyone who supports any team but your team also sucks. No need to reveal your name or face, because you're simply stating the law of the universe: you are right, and everyone else is wrong.

While we're at it, why stop with political campaigns? What a great way for everyone to participate in any number of current issues!! Don't approve of your gay neighbors? Rip that rainbow sticker off those cars, and if you have enough time, spray paint the car or burn into the lawn something about fags or dykes. Think your conservative neighbors are oppressive? Sneak on over and hang a Nazi flag on their front door - that will show them! Take issue with the race, religion, ethnicity, culture or profession of anyone in your town? I'm sure you can find some way to get your message across. Just put your mind to it.

Oh wait. Use your mind? Isn't that kind of defeating the purpose?

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Posted by Beth Henderson at 1:34 PM