Saturday, December 11, 2004

The Effect of Farsightedness 

The reports are coming out about the eagerly anticipated results of the president's annual physical exam. The doctors at Bethesda Naval Hospital have declared George Bush to be "fit for duty." The story I read emphasized that Bush is in superior health, that his fitness measurements were akin to that of a well-trained athlete, and mentioned that since switching from running to mountain biking due to some knee pain "after thirty years of running," he has proved to be "as aggressive on the trails as he was on the track as a jogger."

It mentioned that he had previously had some skin lesions removed which were "common in people with sun damage." The report also mentioned an earlier diagnosed "optic condition that has the effect of farsightedness."

Yes, George Bush is healthy as an ox. He's a man's man, a man who can fly fighter jets, who uses chainsaws on his ranch, who ran until he couldn't run no more, and then picked up a mountain bike (no prissy little roadbike for this guy) to keep defeating the rest of the boys.

I guess it wouldn't do to associate "knee pain" with any sort of degenerative condition such as arthritis, or "sun damage" with any sort of carcinoma. Only old, sick people have those issues.

And as for the mysterious optic condition? His 2001 physical examination report identifies it as presbyopia, for which he should wear reading glasses as needed. He's got "long arm syndrome," an age-related process which affects your ability to focus at short distances.

But it wouldn't do to associate an age-related condition with such a hale and hearty world leader now, would it? That would just be more reality than the American people can handle.

Posted by Beth Henderson at 1:53 PM