Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The L Word - Lap Dance 

We stayed up after the Oscars and watched The L Word in its midnight reshowing. By the time that was over and we got the place cleaned up from the Oscar Party, it was 3:30 before we got to sleep. This would explain the lack of blog entries yesterday... It would also explain my absence from classes last evening. We had living room nap time yesterday afternoon, with the fireplace DVD on the tv, and that lasted from 1-5 pm, but upon awakening I still didn't feel coherent enough to make it through nearly 4 hours of classes, so I took a pass for the evening and we watched a couple of definite non-Oscar films instead (In the Flesh and Honey). So anyway, now I'm back mostly to normal, so here are my thoughts on this week's The L Word.

Tina pays a visit to an attorney recommended by Alice, to check out her options regarding the break up and the fact that the house, utilities and most of the household funds are in Bette's name, while Tina has been out of work for quite a while now because of their parenting plans. Now she's getting ready to parent, without any particular plan. The attorney maintained that even if Tina wants to reconcile with Bette, she should come at the relationship from a more strong, independent and autonomous position. But I didn't get the impression that she really is hoping for her new client to reconcile.

Bette is continuing to be a total asshole at work, and none too pleasant with her friends, either. She shows up at Alice's looking for Tina, then tells Alice never again to interfere with Bette's business. Hey, Tina showed up at Alice's and sort of brought the business along with her, okay missy? Back the hell off. Bette is also trying to continue controlling Tina's life by searching for a nice house to lease for her.

Worlds collide when the girls take Tina out for chinese food to the very restaurant where Bette gets her takeout. By the way, I would expect Bette to be putting on a few pounds if chinese takeout has become the mainstay of her diet that it appears to be. Cold looks are exchanged, Bette leaves, and Shane follows her outside to apologize for all the hurt that's going around. Poor Shane - it's like her parents are getting divorced.

During dinner, Evil Tonya is extolling the virtues of lap dancing, and comments that Dana doesn't want anyone else's pootie in her lap, so Tonya wouldn't be jealous. As Dana is stating her confirmation, Shane catches her and Alice eyeballing each other and nearly chokes on her lo mein. On the way out to the strip club where they will be imposing a lap dance upon the newly single Tina, Shane confronts Alice about the look. Alice attempts to deny, but finally confesses to a kiss. She left out the repetitive nature of the kissing, and didn't even mention the extended groping. But it's a start. Tina looks incredibly uncomfortable with the whole lap dance thing, but goes along with it. Shane spots that something's off with Tina, but doesn't seem to have pierced the pregnancy veil as of yet. She can't possibly hide it for much longer.

Jenny, meanwhile, goes with Robin to meet some of Robin's incredibly inappropriately interfering friends, who are coupled and with children and seem anxious to impose the domesticity upon Jenny and Robin. Apparently Robin had a commitment ceremony some time ago, and her bride cheated on her in the church immediately after the ceremony, and they're anxious to see her recommit as quickly as possible. So Jenny takes the shortest escape route, and breaks up with Robin as soon as they get back to the empty house. Only she does it in the most pretentious and blame-escaping way possible. Fortunately, Robin doesn't let her off the responsibility hook that easily, basically calls her an insensitive, manipulative bitch and storms out. That sucked. I really can't stand Jenny, but I really liked Robin. Oh well. Bye Robin!

Back on Planet Kit, she's still hoping to convince Ivan to invest in The Planet, but Ivan's put her on the persona non grata list at the garage. One of the baby butches from the Butch Ghetto that is Ivan's body shop gets a little screen time and earns her SAG card, and finally gives up the address of Ivan's getaway cabin. Kit goes there, gives him the paperwork to peruse, and gets the boot.

Later, Bette and Kit are hanging out at The Planet waiting to meet Il Conte Padre di Marina. Kit's hoping to work out something to have more time to get the down payment, when Ivan walks in. He announces that he's making the investment as a silent partner, will expect no involvement in day to day decisions but will expect a monthly statement. He also expects that Kit will maintain radio silence otherwise. And he leaves. Bye, Ivan! Cue entrance of Marina's dad, who is incredibly imperious and self-righteous. He scolds Bette for passing judgment on Marina, heaps scorn on Americans for their narrow view of life, and angrily corrects Kit and Bette when they refer to Marina as his daughter. Turns out he's her husband of 12 years! Wow, didn't see that one coming. Marina was even more fucked up than we thought (see earlier recaps for examples).

Shane appeared at a video shoot that Carmen was PA-ing on, and apologized to her for her behavior at Milk the other night. They go to a back room and start in on a replay of the television studio activity, but get interrupted by walkie-talkie demands on Carmen's time. Damn work, always getting in the way.

We end with Bette sitting on her front porch drinking Dos Equis. The Girl, The Creeping Unknown and I all think that's not Bette's usual style, and that she should take it out back by the pool and the privacy of her backyard. But then Shane comes up the walk, as Bette had invited her over. While they're talking about how life would be easier if sex didn't carry the threat of baggage, Jenny appears and joins the little party, agrees with the philosophical stance of sex/relationships, and reveals her housing dilemma. Much to my horror, Shane suggests that they talk about the possibility of becoming roommates in the empty house. Could work out to the advantage of both. Shane would finally have a private space to bring her dates, and Jenny could enlarge her pool of people she'll be meeting and manipulating. Everyone's happy! Except the people who wander into their web, of course. But it seems clear that Shane's heading off the wild stallion track and will be going one-on-one with Carmen pretty soon, so maybe she'll just give Jenny some lessons on loving and leaving, and pass the hat to her.

Humorous secondary story: everyone has trouble ordering coffee drinks at the alternate coffee shop now that The Planet is closed until further notice. Except Tonya, who's all over the complicated and pretentious sweet drinks. She helps Shane order what sounds like basically a coffee with multiple espresso shots added. Of course that's what Shane drinks.

Oh, and Sandra Bernhardt begins her series of guest appearances, as a famous writing instructor who is finally telling Jenny that she's talentless and pretentious. Although she must think she has possibility, as Jenny gets a writing audition and clearly will be let into the program. I'm okay with that, as long as Sandra keeps knocking Jenny down a couple of pegs per episode.

Next week: Re-opening party at The Planet.
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UPDATE (1:49 pm): After reading Scribe Grrrl's recap, I realized I had blocked out the storyline involving Evil Tonya manipulating Dana's parents into accepting that Dana is gay and giving their blessings for the upcoming nuptuals. Tonya is the pretentious social-climbing poseur they always wished Dana would become, so of course she's able to work them over something fierce. How long before Tonya figures out Dana's mom's little secret, and sets her sights on the more moneyed and socially-connected Sharon? Then she could be Dana's evil stepmother instead of her evil fiance! And Dana and Alice could pull some Parent Trap hijinks to submarine the relationship!!! Whee!!!!! Ilene Chaiken - are you listening? This is good stuff!

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Posted by Beth Henderson at 10:38 AM